'We do not torture' - check the small print

Torture is banned
We do not torture
We run secret prisons
We do not give the Red Cross access to our secret prisons
Our secret prisons contain the 'disappeared ' [ghosts]
We have now banned cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment of detainees
We have now permitted the use of information obtained through the application of
'coercive interrogation techniques' when determining whether to hold
captives 'indefinitely'
We do not abuse detainees
We have barred captives from any form of legal action against us, ever
Rex the Dog got adopted
Shoot that dog