How the Sun may have got its photographs of Saddam

...."I want him in his fuc*ing pants!" Rupert snarled as he set out his terms. Tony knew it wouldn't be easy, but with the help of Scarlet and the Americans he might just be able to pull it off. "don't mention this to Cherry" said Tony sheepishly "and there's no chance of you getting them until after the election".

As his driver pulled up to the Kerb Rupert poked a finger deep into Tony's chest, causing him to wince in pain, and through gritted teeth spat the words "if you mess with me I will fuc*ing kill you........... don't mess with me". Tony grinned nervously "alright Rupert, keep your hair on".

As Tony walked back to Downing Street he placed a call to Alistair Campbell "Alright mate, howd'it go?" said Alastair "Brilliant" said Tony "what did you 'ave to give 'im?" "Just some pictures of Saddam on his knees" said Tony "is that bloody all?" "Yea" said Tony "Magic" said Alastair "you're a little fuc*ing miracle worker" "thanks" said Tony.