How did the US and the World get lumbered with George W Bush?
The Australian: I've been asked by a number of readers to explain how the United States - and the world - gets lumbered with a president like George W. Bush.
So I will provide a detailed, scientific explanation. Bush is a statistical inevitability. His arrival at the White House was a consequence of simple division by simple people. Or, if you prefer, a process of elimination. First of all, you can eliminate half the population as the US is a long, long way from being ready to have a woman president - though some Democrats are talking up Hillary Clinton while Republicans counter with Condoleezza Rice.
Then you can eliminate all the African-Americans - even Colin Powell and Condoleezza - who haven't got a snowball's. Apart from bland bigotry you've got all the white supremacists and Aryan Nation kooks who'd want to add a black candidate to such trophies as Martin Luther King and Malcolm X. Word is that's why Mrs Powell insisted that her husband renege from the race a few years back.
Despite Al Gore's selection of a Jew as his running mate, US anti-Semitism precludes getting nominated as top banana. And unless Arnie Schwarzenegger can organise a change of the Constitution, you can also eliminate anyone and everyone who wasn't born in the US. "From log cabin to White House" applies only to residents of American log cabins - not to those raised in similar structures in Finland, Norway, Siberia or Poland.
See how fast we're whittling down the figures? Getting closer to George Bush, father or son?
Homosexuals need not apply. While there's undoubtedly been the odd gay president - Abraham Lincoln has recently been "outed" - such sexual proclivities have had to be kept a deep, dark secret. You wouldn't want the cross-dressing J. Edgar Hoover to find out. At this point in time, US straights have narrowed eyes when it comes to the queer guy.
Roman Catholics have been contenders since Jack Kennedy beat Quaker Nixon. But for the foreseeable future you can eliminate Muslims, Zoastrians, Hindus, Sikhs, Druids, followers of the Norse gods, or Buddhists. Although, with Buddhism becoming so very popular in Hollywood, passionately embraced by the likes of Richard Gere and Oliver Stone, it's only a matter of time until one sneaks under the radar. This will probably occur at a Democrat convention given that Christian fundamentalism is still de rigueur with the Republicans.
Atheists? No hope. In a nation where almost as many people go to church as shop at Wal-Mart, anyone who doesn't claim to be born again would be out of the race long before Super Tuesday, probably before New Hampshire. Even candidates admitting agnosticism would have to hit the road.
As you can see, the pool of presidential possibilities is now little more than a puddle. And there's a lot more draining, downsizing, filtering and elimination ahead of us. Link to full list of the excluded
So I will provide a detailed, scientific explanation. Bush is a statistical inevitability. His arrival at the White House was a consequence of simple division by simple people. Or, if you prefer, a process of elimination. First of all, you can eliminate half the population as the US is a long, long way from being ready to have a woman president - though some Democrats are talking up Hillary Clinton while Republicans counter with Condoleezza Rice.
Then you can eliminate all the African-Americans - even Colin Powell and Condoleezza - who haven't got a snowball's. Apart from bland bigotry you've got all the white supremacists and Aryan Nation kooks who'd want to add a black candidate to such trophies as Martin Luther King and Malcolm X. Word is that's why Mrs Powell insisted that her husband renege from the race a few years back.
Despite Al Gore's selection of a Jew as his running mate, US anti-Semitism precludes getting nominated as top banana. And unless Arnie Schwarzenegger can organise a change of the Constitution, you can also eliminate anyone and everyone who wasn't born in the US. "From log cabin to White House" applies only to residents of American log cabins - not to those raised in similar structures in Finland, Norway, Siberia or Poland.
See how fast we're whittling down the figures? Getting closer to George Bush, father or son?
Homosexuals need not apply. While there's undoubtedly been the odd gay president - Abraham Lincoln has recently been "outed" - such sexual proclivities have had to be kept a deep, dark secret. You wouldn't want the cross-dressing J. Edgar Hoover to find out. At this point in time, US straights have narrowed eyes when it comes to the queer guy.
Roman Catholics have been contenders since Jack Kennedy beat Quaker Nixon. But for the foreseeable future you can eliminate Muslims, Zoastrians, Hindus, Sikhs, Druids, followers of the Norse gods, or Buddhists. Although, with Buddhism becoming so very popular in Hollywood, passionately embraced by the likes of Richard Gere and Oliver Stone, it's only a matter of time until one sneaks under the radar. This will probably occur at a Democrat convention given that Christian fundamentalism is still de rigueur with the Republicans.
Atheists? No hope. In a nation where almost as many people go to church as shop at Wal-Mart, anyone who doesn't claim to be born again would be out of the race long before Super Tuesday, probably before New Hampshire. Even candidates admitting agnosticism would have to hit the road.
As you can see, the pool of presidential possibilities is now little more than a puddle. And there's a lot more draining, downsizing, filtering and elimination ahead of us. Link to full list of the excluded
posted by exoplanet at 9:33 PM
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